Better Homes & Gardens
I am not exactly an exemplary homemaker or gardener. Our house has dust bunnies that have been here so long that they've developed personalities. (See that snarl under the TV? That's Rupert. And the tumbleweed under the china cabinet is Gertrude.) Areas of my dining room actually crunch when you walk through them in shoes. I know better than to walk through my house barefoot. As for my "garden"... If you want to see the Wild, all you have to do is look out our back window. About fifteen feet back, the lawn (and by "lawn," I mean the variety of weeds that we keep mowed to approximately lawn height) ends in a hill that is covered in brambles and grape leaves and ivy and shrubs. We were living here for three months before we discovered that there was actually a set of stairs with white railings leading up our hill. You couldn't see it until fall when the leaves began to die.
In other words, I am not exactly "Better Homes & Gardens" material.
My mother can attest to this. She had the most amazing gardens when I was growing up. She had a hillside of flowers and flowering bushes, a strawberry patch, a pumpkin patch, rows of daffodils by the front stone wall, a border of herbs, a side border of peonies and tulips, plus a vegetable garden twice the size of my first apartment. I was zero help with all this gorgeousness. Worms freaked me out, and I hated to have dirty hands. So I think my mom is going to really laugh when she hears this:
I'm in the June 2007 issue of Better Homes & Gardens magazine!
Yep, seriously, I am! My mother-in-law discovered me on page 186 in the "Living: Summer Fun" section. Under "Get a Beach Book," it says:
"Keep the kids entertained with two modern fantasies: Troll Bridge, by Jane Yolen and Adam Stemple, and Into the Wild, by Sarah Beth Durst."
How cool is that?!?
For one thing, I'm listed right alongside Jane Yolen, Goddess of Children's Literature. For another... no one who has ever seen my backyard is going to believe this! To give you some context on the article, here's a picture of the whole page. Click to see it full size.
Random, huh? For summer fun, BH&G recommends popsicles, inner tubes, and INTO THE WILD! Hey, why not try all three together? Popsicle in one hand, my book in the other, floating in the pool on an inner tube... Sounds good to me! If I get a spare minute this summer, that's totally how I'm going to spend it.
As soon as I mentioned Better Homes & Gardens, my husband started humming this song from Little Shop of Horrors that talks about BH&G: "Somewhere That's Green." It's the one where Audrey is dreaming about her perfect life in the suburbs, right out of BH&G magazine. It's somewhat beyond description. But thanks to the power of the internets, there's no need for me to describe it, you can watch it yourself: [If the YouTube video doesn't appear below, you can watch it by clicking here.]
Mwah ha ha, now you've all got that song stuck in your head just like I do!