Friday, September 30, 2011

The Best Present Ever

Every September, I embark on a grand quest to find a birthday present for my brother John that could win the title of Best Present My Brother Has Ever Gotten. Current record holder (purchased by our mother) has held the title for the last twenty-one years.

It was a box of cereal.

Specifically, it was the sugariest cereal ever sold (or at least that our local grocery store sold). We had a strict no-sugar-a
s-the-first-ingredient policy in our house, and this gift skyrocketed to the number one spot with ease.

For twenty-one years, no one has b
eaten the sugar cereal. Until now. (I dare to hope.)

I had dedicated Drink, Slay, Love to John. (Drink, Slay, Love is my latest novel. It's about vampires and were-unicorns.) So for this
year, since his actual birthday was the same week as my book birthday, I sent him a signed copy of Drink, Slay, Love, as well as a plush vampire doll that makes slurping sounds when you press it against someone's neck...

... and also a can of unicorn meat that has a dismembered unicorn doll inside.

I am crossing my fingers that this entry FINALLY beats the cereal. But I'm having second thoughts. Perhaps I should have also tossed in a set of Uni-Corn-on-the-Cob holders:

Or a taxidermy unicorn:

Or perhaps an Edward Cullen manllow (half-man, half-pillow -- it watches you while you sleep):

Or maybe what I REALLY should have given him is this:

What's the best birthday gift you've ever gotten/given?

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At 3:32 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Dare I ask where the unicorn meat came from? Roald Dahl said that dragon meat "comes to you in barrels in you order it by post," but . . .

I've had a lot of good birthday gifts; the best would probably have to be my brother and sister getting my a large folder for my rough drafts and my first USB. It showed that they cared about what I loved to do.

At 5:04 AM, Blogger Anne Leigh said...

That little vampire doll is so cute! So are the corn on the cobs but that Edward pillow...Goodnight dreamless sleep. It was nice knowing you while you were here, once Mr. Nightmares go away I'll be glad to have you back.

Where...where did you find a taxidermy unicorn anyway...?

At 2:04 AM, Blogger Kelsey H said...

Ha--I was totally hoping your "sugar cereal" would turn out to be Count Chocula! I love that stuff. :D
Best present ever...I can't think of any favorite birthday presents right now (besides books, of course), but two years ago for Christmas I got a mat cutter that I absolutely love. Nerdy artist thing, I guess, but it's gotten a lot of use.

At 8:52 AM, Blogger Sarah Beth Durst said...

Priya: The unicorn meat (and the slurping vampire) came from ThinkGeek. I covet their tauntaun sleeping bag with the lightsaber zipper...

Love that birthday gift. I completely understand why that was your best gift.

SavyLeartist: I always felt that way about posters of celebrities that my high school friends had in their bedrooms. Way too much like someone watching you sleep.

The taxidermy unicorn was from Etsy.

Kelsey: I should have added "besides books, of course" to the post. Books are indeed the best present in the world... because it's like giving someone new worlds, just in rectangular form.


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