Farewell, Evil Tree

Remember that evil tree I told you about last month? Its roots had clogged up our pipes, which backed up the kitchen sink, which made the dishwasher overflow, which caused water to seep through the floor into the basement and directly onto our boiler, which caused its control circuits to short out, leaving us with no heat in the middle of the night! (Yes, this really happened.) Well, apparently, what goes around comes around, even for trees.

A few nights ago, there was a big storm and it was really windy outside. Sometime in the middle of the night, my husband and I heard a loud thud. We sat up, exchanged confused glances, and then fell promptly back to sleep. In the morning we found our tree, the very same (evil) tree, ripped off of its stump and lying on our patio. It missed hitting our house by only a couple feet.

Here lies evil tree. Apparently, it really was rotten to the core.

My husband thinks evil tree was trying, once again, to attack us, ending its life in a failed attempt to crush our house. I think evil tree felt remorse for its past misdeeds, and when the wind came howling, missed our house on purpose, as an act of redemption. Either way, evil tree is no more.

Now, how the heck do I get it off my patio?!