Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Brotherhood Pig.0 - Sticks

As those of you who read yesterday's blog know, as a favor to some of my fairy-tale character friends, I've turned this blog over to a certain porcine trio for a few days, so they can present their homage to John Green and Hank Green's Brotherhood 2.0. Yesterday we heard from Straw. Today, his brother Sticks...

Three Brothers, One Blog
3 Days of Text-Full Communication
It's a whole new kind of brotherhood.
Brotherhood Pig.0

Good Morning, Straw. Good Morning, Bricks. It's Tuesday, May 1. Recently, it came to my attention that everything is funnier if you add the phrase "in your snout" to the end of it. Think about it: "Charlotte's Web in Your Snout," "Green Acres in Your Snout," and my personal favorite "Babe in Your Snout."

There's just something inherently funny about snouts.

Especially yours, Bricks.

Did you know that only girl-pigs can sniff out truffles with their snouts? Apparently, truffles smell like boy-pigs. Girl-pigs go nuts for the scent, track it all over the forest, and then dig up a mushroom. Must be rather disappointing.

Anyway, this has led me to the following thought: if mushrooms attract the ladies, then all I need to do to find a girlfriend is smear myself with fungus. Luckily, there's a lot of fungus here, due to the fact that my stick house has partially molded.

I'm also in the middle of a rather nasty termite problem. Those buggers are eating me out of house and home. If this gets much worse, I'm going to have to seriously think about moving. Maybe someplace where even termites won't tread, like Indianapolis...

There is a side benefit to the shoddy craftsmanship of my humble abode: the mold only grows on the north side of the house, so it's like always having a compass handy. The termites and I know at a glance which way the wind is blowing.

Speaking of wind, are we having some kind of Noreaster? This place just got a whole lot draftier...

Straw, Bricks, I'll see you tomorrow. In your snout.

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